Friday, February 17, 2017

Anything does happen over Koffee

Each and every time it airs, it becomes the buzz of the town. Who has he invited? What’s going to set the gossip mills running this time? Who said what and what not? From the lavish sets and garish silver shoes to the excessive display of haute couture, the show never lets you down. Be it a prime time slot on one of the country’s most popular channels or making the crème de la crème of the Hindi film industry clear their diaries for him, Karan Johar sure knows how to get things done.

Koffee with Karan (KWK) is a talk show known for the gossip and revelations and controversial statements made by the celebrities that make the page 3 presstitutes moan in orgasmic delight. The news ink never seems to dry out printing one gossip after another and keypads get punched effortlessly to dish out the meatiest of the scandals, because whether we like it or not, that is what sells. A lot.

But that’s not just what makes the show sizzle and swirl and has tongues salivating and wagging for more. No doubt, gossip matters, but what seems to nudge the adrenalin levels a notch higher are the innumerous implicit but most of the time explicit sexual innuendoes. It’s as if the show just can’t do without them.

When the season began, I was one of those looking forward to watch. In anticipation I must add. The previous seasons had been a fun watch and frankly we all like gossip, we belong to a species which thrives on being curious about everything that does not matter to them. My happiness however was rather short lived.

While candour is obviously not meant to be USP of the show, the wit and presence of mind Shahrukh Khan and Twinkle Khanna displayed in the initial episodes made me wonder if KWK had finally evolved.  It didn’t take long for my bubble to go burst.

Couple of episodes down, Ranbir Kapoor and Ranvir Singh made an appearance on the sets.  Every single sentence spoken was punctuated with some or the other reference to sex or porn or lust... I could go on. If that wasn’t enough, we were subject to ‘lush vicious’, whatever that means. Wait a minute, it doesn’t mean anything, because the word doesn’t exist! If the cheap sex jokes were not enough, the mediocrity of the spoken word could make one cringe. It sold. The audience lapped it up and seemed to beg for more. Nothing else can explain the consistency with which the trend continued across most of the later episodes or the TRPs that shoot through the roof.
If sexual talk isn’t the in thing this winter, it probably serves as a wonderful cover up for the dumbness most of the celebrities put on public display. With IQs threatening to go below their shoe sizes and making statements that are about as dumb as a box of raisins, the one thing all of the actors seem to get are sexual references. Be it a tiny pinky hair dryer which according to Alia Bhat, vibrates (!!) to gay hand gestures (really Ranbir?) and the all-important questions on phone sex and the mile high club, it’s all what celebrity lives seem to be about. If none of this is enough, implicit references to KJo’s sexual preferences bring out the snickers. Gay banter. It can’t get any more old school than that, can it?

It all boils down to an easy to miss remark Aamir Khan makes in one of the episodes, “Koffee with Karan pe aaye hai, kuch to bolna hi padega”

Why can’t the show be about intelligent conversations, a peek into celebrity lives albeit revealing but minus the cheap carnal references? To get to know the celebrities as who they are and not the dumb sex maniacs they get portrayed to be?

Ranbir Kapoor made the only sensible statement in the otherwise ridiculous episode, that its high time KWK moves on as far as his relationship with Deepika Padukone is concerned.

If you ask me, it is high time KWK just moves on.


  1. Somehow I cannot connect to KJ,so I have never watched his show.You have given me more reasons not to.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I'm impressed with his ability to turn every guest he has on his show into an unpalatable Mills and Boon narration. Even the not so dumb ones. TK and SRK sure seemed like the sunshine on a cold winter morning!!

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